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Lately, I've thinking about a book I read about 4 years ago by Michelle Obama, called Becoming.
I remember finding it really easy and fast to read and I've recommended it to quite a few people in my life.
She goes into detail about her upbringing, the lessons her parents taught her, and the mindset she developed through her school years and later on, during her Law studies in Ivy-League universities.
She also talks about her relationship with Obama, the challenges they faced, the election and presidency years, raising their kids, being in the public eye, etc...
I think I found the book so good because I was able to relate to Michelle. Although we grew up in different time periods, in very different families and countries, I could see myself having the same demands she had and having the same expectations being put on both of us (in our own contexts).
Becoming Michelle Obama
From a very young age, she was deemed a promising smart child. Her parents and the schools she went to carved that belief into her and she grew up without giving it much thought, it was just who she was, right?
When it came time for her to go to college she went for what would give herself and her family the most financial security, stability, and prestige, which was Law.
She got into Princeton and Harvard.
When practicing, she found out that was not really what she expected to be or do, but rather started realizing what was expected of her during her life. She, then, wanted to make an impact in society, so she turned to some non-profits.
Later on in her life, Obama ran for office and won. She was put in the role of First Lady, not by her own choice, but she took it and knew she had to step up her game, being the first Black First Lady of the US.
Not to be biased about anything, but being a foreigner looking into the American political scenario at the time, I think she did a great job and raised the bar.
But how exactly did "Becoming Michelle Obama" happen?
The biggest lesson Michelle taught me
She learned from a very young age that she had the ability to be smart. And she practiced it, it became a mindset and an identity.
When comparing her experience to that of other peers throughout her life, she realized that most of them, especially in elementary school, started at the same level, but she was encouraged to be the smart kid.
In her neighborhood, she saw the kids interacting with each other, saying slang and speaking casually, but her parents taught her to speak as correctly as she could because they knew what she would be communicating and the image she would be pertaining.
So the first lesson here is this: it was never solely about her intellectual capacity or how much of an exception she had always been. She was taught, and trained, to be that way and acquire more and more knowledge and respect.
What I mean by that is that it was a skill she had been practicing her whole life, but a skill nonetheless.
Which makes it accessible if you put in the work.
My little side story
I have a twin sister and although we were raised by the same two parents and went to the same schools, our experiences, expectations, and demands couldn't be more different.
Academically, I would usually do better and the better I did, the more I was encouraged to keep at it. My sister didn't do as well academically, but socially, she flew. Much higher than I ever did.
As the years went by, and as I was the "academic" one, I simply went to a more "academic" university, and my sister went to a more business-focused one.
It was carved in me to keep my grades as high as I could, but I saw my sister networking like crazy. She got her first internship in the first semester, while I only got mine in the fifth.
I thought about being a diplomat, which requires a high-level knowledge of multiple languages, years of studying for a public exam, and some luck. I thought I wanted that because as someone deemed as academic my whole life, that was just expected.
But I had never considered my hobbies and my passions as monetizable skills I could work with, so as Michelle did, I pivoted.
My sister, however, tapped into her passions for longer than I have. That was more expected of her.
How expectations and mindset can mold who we are
What I'm trying to say here is that we become what we think we are.
And what we think is largely based on our mindset and expectations we and the people around us have of us.
Once we recognize that, though, we start getting the power to shape our identity and become who we actually identify with, according to our terms.
Michelle gets to a point in her book where she recognizes that. She says she was just a regular girl who was encouraged to become the person she became. She saw the power in that but tried to tell us we could harness it.
In my mind, that relates a lot to how I think about manifestation. We attract what we think we deserve by acting on it.
If I think I'm a happy person, I'll act on it and attract happiness to myself.
If I think I'm smart, I'll work on things that challenge my intellect and try to grow it.
The contrary is also true.
So when people on TikTok keep saying being delulu is the solulu, they are kind of right.
Summing it up
What I took most from the book is the fact that our minds can mold our existence. And we should be looking more into that.
That being said, she has loads more nuggets of wisdom to give us, so if you haven't already and feel like the book speaks to you, try it out!
Who knows, maybe you become First Lady someday.
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