Let me paint a picture of what goes through my mind when I know I need to complete something I'm not necessarily excited to do, like cleaning the house, mopping the floors, doing laundry and dishes, or solving a mildly complicated problem at work.
How the pre-work works
First, I think about the steps I need to take to complete said task and see if there's something I need to get done before actually starting the task.
For instance, doing laundry. For me to start, I need to take all the dry clothes from the hanging lines (yes, I would also love to have a drier one day), fold and put them away and then I'll have drying space to start washing the clothes.
If I have an early morning errand to run, I need to make sure my dog has her walk, breakfast, and water to drink before I'm gone for a couple of hours.
At my 9-5, I deal with multiple clients every day, so if one of them has a problem, I need to make sure to go over all messages and emails regarding the problem to guarantee I'm not mixing up information and have everything as accurate as possible. I need to make all parties aware of what's going on and have deadlines and plans of action to present. Finally, I can confidently speak to the client and solve the problem.
Prep work can make us spend as much or more energy than the actual work itself, and being the perfectionist I am, I've acquired the terrible habit of procrastinating something until I can no more.
That, combined with imposter syndrome, pressure, and disinterest is a recipe for disaster.
One simple scroll section on Instagram changed my mindset
One day, during my lunch break, I was having a little scroll section while waiting for my food to heat up.
I was having a mentally tough week at work, because of comparing myself to my peers, losing a client, thinking I was not good enough, that I couldn't get to the standards people were setting for me, and becoming demotivated.
I ended up talking to my leader about it because she also noticed something was off with me. We discussed everything I was feeling and some of the trauma I had from the past. That lifted me.
Then, I found a video from a girl called Allissa Cooper where she said:
Doing the work takes much less energy than avoiding the work.
Why did it resonate with me?
Much of my inability to act, at times, comes from the fact I spend so much mental energy hyping myself up to begin, going through every step I need to take to keep on top of things and do it in the most efficient way possible.
Organizing things in your head is not bad at all. It creates a sense of logical, linear actions to take which makes acting on them that much easier.
The problem for me is that it triggers fear, perfectionism, and a lot of anxiety. So I tend to avoid the work. Or did, until the small mindset change I started taking.
By just doing the work, I started to focus solely on the next step, not the whole task I need to complete. Let's go back to the examples from earlier.
Doing laundry
I know I need to fold and put the dry clothes away first to start separating the darks from whites and colors and choose the pile that goes in the machine afterward.
The thing here is not that I don't go through the steps anymore, I do. But I want to spend the smallest amount of energy on chores I can. So instead of overcomplicating things, I just think about the first step and do it, then the second, then the third. And when I realize, the task is done.
Early morning errand
Instead of thinking of walking my dog as prep work for me to be able to run the errand and get mentally tired before even doing it, I simply change out of my pajamas, get her leach on, and just go. If I feel like walking for a while, I will. But if I'm on a time crunch or don't have the physical energy to walk for a whole hour, I know she needs to at least go to the bathroom. When she does, I think about the next step.
Client problems at work
The hardest one for me. Here, I still feel like I need a little bit more out of my mind to go over past toxic habits and negative associations. But still, I try to think of the following: If anyone needs me while working on this, they will send me a message and I will see it. Until then, this is what I can do. So let's go over the messages for 15 minutes and see if I feel confident enough to move on. Once I do, I'll talk to another area involved and ask for their input, even if feels like a stupid question. Then I can talk to the client and see if the problem is solved. If not, I'll ask for help.
This is the best and the only thing I can do.
Summing it up
Overthinking can seem very innocent at first, quirky even, but it takes valuable energy we need to be able to live life normally.
The smallest of actions has the power to propel us a little bit more forward than where we were while overthinking, although valid in some specific situations, is not sustainable.
So instead of avoiding, do just one thing. Clean one cup, fold one shirt, and walk one block. See how you feel. Build up from there.
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