Another day, another hiring process
This blog aims to document all the struggles I'm facing, how I'm meeting them, and what my outcome will be, so today is one of the more challenging days; today is struggle day if you will. I got rejected on another hiring process and this is what happened.
I was deep in another hiring process and I enjoyed talking to several hiring managers and other (to-be) team members. I got to the last interview round and spent this weekend wondering what the verdict would be.
With this company, I noticed that when the news were good, they would call me. Otherwise, I would get an email.
Every time my phone rang, an adrenaline spike would go through my whole body only to answer a spam call from elsewhere.
As I was looking through my email to find and pay some bills that were due, I saw the name of the person who was my point of contact during the whole process, so I clicked. I was met with a we liked you and your background but other people filled the role better type of email. I was trying not to expect anything this time, but the deeper you go into stuff like this, the more you start imagining your life differently and psychologically preparing for that role. You can only contain yourself so much. And here I was, getting rejected one more time.
What getting rejected felt like
I felt sad and frustrated again, but this time I tried to find anything I could be grateful for. Maybe the environment was not gonna be for me, maybe the working hours would exceed my limits or I wouldn't feel right working there. On that note, I wanted to tell a little story about myself.
Last Monday, I lost my grandma due to old age and breathing difficulties and that happened in the middle of this hiring process I was participating. Two weeks went by and every time I would have another round of interviews, I would get more and more nervous. Before the last one, I sat on my desk, opened the window to feel the breeze, and tried to calm myself down. I saw this beautiful cloud passing by in the sky and asked my grandma to help me calm down. I also asked her that if this new job was not for me, to gently send it elsewhere and be with me through the frustration. I guess she did.
I'm becoming more and more a believer that what's meant to be mine, will inevitably find its way to me, no matter how long it takes. Some people call it faith or even innocence, you can feel free to call it whatever you want. I also (try to) believe that rejection is redirection and I held on to what I asked my grandma before the interview.
It was an amazing interview, I felt very confident, and I had done my research. I had my questions ready for the interviewer and he seemed to have enjoyed it as well. The position was very different from everything I had done previously and although I liked the tasks and responsibilities I would take on, I believe it when they said somebody else filled the role better than I would have.
Meanwhile, I'm letting myself feel anything that comes up, good or bad, even if it includes a bit of self-pity. I decided that instead of following my content calendar for today, I would vent a little bit and share this episode for anyone reading to know that they are not alone in this. Job hunting sucks, I get it.
I'm also still looking forward to other freelancing opportunities coming my way, but today, I thought I would slow things down and have a more chill day to allow myself to recharge.
If you are in the same boat as I am, know that we can't give up, but we can rest and recharge to go at it with even more strength and will. We got this.
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