I've been an intermittent nomad since April 2023
Back in February, I wrote about this concept I heard about on YouTube, while watching Stefanovic's channel.
He mentioned switching to an intermittent nomad lifestyle, meaning he would still be a digital nomad, working from wherever, but traveling less and enjoying the places he decided to call base for a while.
That made sense to me because I'm a remote South American project manager working for a company in Denmark, and my partner is an infrastructure civil engineer who mostly works on the road. Being with him means moving a lot and spending months to a year at a time somewhere before we have to move again.
Ever since the beginning of 2023, I decided I would join my partner in his work moves more often. Long-distance certainly took its toll on me.
Last year we moved to a tiny beach town in my home state, but by the end of 2023, he had to move again and I couldn't join him. Instead of living alone for much longer, I decided to spend the better part of 2024 living back with my mom. July 2024 comes and with it, one more move announcement. Closer to where we first started living together, which was good news. What got me this time was the support I was expecting versus some of the family opinions I got.
What does my family think about it
My father's family mostly supports every move I make, but my mother's side is more resistant. They want me around and tend to assume I'm not thinking about myself enough. They think I should stay here, closer to my family, instead of embarking on adventures that are not inherently mine. They have a point.
My father's side of the family, on the other hand, fully understands the nature of my job and knows that embarking on these moves does not mean I'm giving up my life for my partner, as I'm still working on my career and want to start my own business, both fully online.
Because of these conflicting opinions, I'm quite torn about leaving my hometown to live with him again.
I have moved away from home before, both with and without him. I like living alone and having my own space, but I must confess that not having a say on where we're going next can be infuriating. That's why I can see that agreeing to it might give off the impression I'm not thinking about myself and my preferences.
I am, but not in an obvious way, I guess...
The duality of my own needs and preferences
I don't think I can imagine myself going through long-distance for much longer. I miss the date nights on weekdays, I miss bed rotting together on a Sunday afternoon, I miss making some crazy dish we ate somewhere we traveled to, I miss getting to 7 pm and knowing he'll be walking into the house and we would talk about how good or how bad our days were.
And I would hate the fact that, even though I can, I didn't move away again. As if I wasn't fighting for my relationship.
But I also hate the instability this lifestyle brings, the lack of structure of some really tiny town he might be transferred to, the fact that I do feel more isolated knowing no one in a city but him, and of course, being away from my support system.
The difference between this and the moves I made alone is that I will face the consequences of choices I didn't make. Sure I get to decide if I want to go or not, but not much else.
Being with someone who works on the road is no easy feat. There are steep highs and lows and it's not for everyone. You get to know a ton of places, meet new people, and see more life possibilities than you originally thought possible. But instability and uncertainty are always lurking and managing them can be quite hard.
What would you do?
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