The day I thought would never come, which I feared and despised for so long, arrived softly and just made sense.
I'm moving back with my mom at 28, and I am grateful I can.
As I've discussed in previous posts, like this one and this one, I'm becoming a digital nomad, working remotely, traveling, and, to the best of my abilities, joining my partner in his many moves, as a civil engineer who works on the road. This time though, I'll have to spend some time at my mom's.
Why, though?
My partner works in construction as an infrastructure engineer. For the past 2 years or so, he has been moving from site to site, every few months, to work in different parts of our country. Since last April, I've tried to join him on the road as much as possible.
This time though, I decided that moving also has to make sense for me. I didn't want to be alone again in a city I didn't choose to live in while he moved again and again.
My natural solution was to turn to my mom. And she took me back with open arms.
My past relationship with my mom
Our relationship hasn't always been the best, especially during my teenage years and early 20s. Out of my twin sister and I, I was always the smaller, thinner, and young-looking one, so my mom always felt the need to look more after me, whereas my sister has always looked tougher.
That slowly turned into a friction point between us, the older I got.
At some point, my sister moved in with my father, so me and my mom became even more intertwined in our day-to-day. I felt as though she couldn't accept I was growing up and in return, I became resentful and wouldn't treat her all too well.
As you can imagine, we would argue a lot.
I eventually moved out
Moving out to work in another city was a huge milestone for me. I would be able to prove I was capable enough to look after myself, look after my new tiny apartment, work in corporate, and have this sense of independence and freedom I never had back home.
I cherish this time and am super proud of all I conquered.
But living away from each other put a lot of things into perspective. Our relationship started improving.
She would visit me from time to time and I started looking forward to having her company and sharing with her all of what was going on in my life.
Fast forward a few years and a lot of sudden moves, I find myself having to wait to know where and when I'll be going next, while also dreading the fact that I've been so alone in my current home.
Slowly moving back in
I also find myself going to my moms more often to "spend just a few days" and staying over two weeks.
That's when I realized it makes no sense for me to keep up with the rent of a house I no longer enjoy being in, when I'm, in fact, basically living with my mother again.
So I just called it. I talked to my boyfriend I wanted to leave our house, be able to save a bunch of money in the meantime, and work on my relationship with my mother.
It's scary and some might think it's like taking some steps behind, but I don't see it this way and I'll tell you why.
I'm not moving back out of need, although if that were the case, I wouldn't think twice about it. I still have my means, my job, my dog that's coming with me, and I will help around at home, with chores, bills, and whatever else I need to.
Moving back with our parents should be looked at with more kindness and an open mind. It doesn't have to mean anything other than a pitstop.
At least that's how I chose to look at it.
X.O.
IAS
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