Expectation vs. Reality
To be honest, the first thing I associate with self-care is being in a hot bath with lit scented candles on the side, bath salts, and bath bombs fizzing up. Face and hair masks are being put on while some lo-fi music is playing in the background and you might or might not finish it all with a glass of rosé.
Don't get me wrong, I would be more than happy to make this scenario come true, but to think self-care sums up to just this is highly undervaluing its importance.
Self-care, most of the time, is doing things we don't want to do right now, to be and feel cared for in the future.
What I mean by that is that self-care sometimes demands discipline and keeping up with it is not always easy.
Let me share some examples.
Let's say you dream about going to a certain college or working in a certain field or role. When I went to college, my first professional dream was to be a diplomat.
In my country, that is a public job role you get by taking an extremely hard exam, which has many different phases. It also demands you speak, at the very least, four languages including Spanish, English, and French.
I started studying French at 19 solely thinking about the next few years after graduating, when I would take the exam. And then, I gave up on the diplomat idea.
I continued studying French because I came to love it and saw myself using it in my career somehow, but it demanded me to keep going for my future self and not simply quit because I didn't see an immediate use for it. I talk more about skill stacking in this blog post.
Nowadays, self-care shows its face by me making a point and arranging my schedule to write posts every day, in order to grow my blog content and hopefully monetize it one day. Even when I don't want to.
It's also taking my dog out at least 4 times a day for the sake of her routine and for me to get out of the house and get some sun when I wouldn't otherwise.
It's forcing me to shop my pantry and cook at home every weekday instead of ordering food for the sake of creating a habit of saving money and eating better.
It's vacuuming and mopping my entire house almost every day because as much as I hate doing it, I feel and work better when my house is clean.
It was waking up at 6 to take driving classes before work at 26, because I lived alone with my dog I needed to be able to come and go, not depending on anyone.
It's sometimes putting guilt aside and resting when I'm sick so I can perform even better and recover faster.
It was working at a mall as a salesperson while finishing college, and later saving up all I could so I could support myself in a scholarship program abroad.
Self-care isn't always easy
I hope these examples give you a feel for where I'm trying to get to here. Self-care is quite literally caring for your present and future self, but that doesn't always mean spoiling.
There are ways around it, to make things simpler. Here is what I like to do to account for my low-energy moments and keep my momentum and discipline going.
Self-care isn't always easy, so in this way, it also demands a great deal of self-love and worth, because you know how valuable and deserving you are of it.
Work on and for yourself. And pour yourself a glass of rosé, you deserve it ;)
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