What else matters aside from money?

Is money a bare necessity in our society? Of course. But what else matters when you realize money is not all?

This is a question I've been asking myself for quite some time now. In my past corporate jobs, I did get paid fairly well, considering the place I used to live in, my general life costs, commute, etc... I also had perks and benefits like a monthly food allowance, health insurance, and a standard 30-day paid vacation once a year.

But if the income was taken out of the picture, what did I value?

If you've been following the posts I've written here, then you'll get a bigger picture of the healing process I find myself in. I've been contemplating more and more what fulfillment means to me and how to translate it into my next income stream. What values are non-negotiable for me? What am I willing to be flexible with and what am I not? Being unemployed for the past 5 months forced me to look at the things I care about other than just money, because, well, I've not been getting much.

My last employer (which was actually a very good one) and I had a very open and honest chat when I was first laid off. I told him about my burnout crises and he knew about my mental health history before I was even in the company. He shared his experiences with me, the professional situations he has been in, and told me the thing he started valuing the most after his years in the market was rest and healing. He, too, had already had burnout crises and periods of dealing with depression from the corporate world. Of course, I agreed with him, but what about the paycheck? So I asked him and this is what he told me:

Girl, nothing is more important than yourself. Everything is a consequence of you being ok, and you are not.

Honestly, I was annoyed at first. Ok, I get it, mental health is important and everything, but what about my financial needs?? I was tired of hearing the same "health should be your main priority" thing because it started to seem like simple buzzwords to me. Of course, health is important but I wasn't dying or anything so why couldn't I just move past this annoying period of my life and just start working again? And then he told me something I will never forget:

Stop refusing help and rely heavily on your pre-built resources. Your family, your partner, your sleep and work on yourself. No one can take it all on their own.

I simply was not at all ready to start again. I had developed a terrible relationship with my job, I was overworked, tired, and sad. Every day I wished that something would happen to me, my house, or my dog so I didn't have to work. I had so many fears and traumas from past experiences and I just hated the perspective of being in that position again. I couldn't start again, even if I was being paid. I just physically couldn't.

During these past few months of healing, this is what I found valuable, other than money.

• Being close to my support network

• Not hating Sunday nights and Monday mornings

• Respecting my sleep pattern

• Spending my days trying out different things I'm interested in

• Getting to write about my experiences here

• Exercising discipline in things other than working or on chores

• Having the energy to make my bed every day

• Playing really loud music while I make my meals, singing along

• Walking my dog whenever both of us feel like it

• Enjoying being home alone again

• Finally getting my driver's license

• Feeling energized again for the first time in a very long time

• Actually feeling rested

• Having time to reflect on what I want going forward

To finalize this post, another huge thing that happened to me was realizing that my anger, my fears, and even my anxiety toward work were trying to protect me. You see, we all know, deep down, what we deserve. These feelings tend to repel us from various situations and they were all concentrated on my work. Something was wrong and my mind and body could tell even before I could. It taught me to trust myself and my instincts more.

Have you also been in this situation? What did you learn from it? Let's chat about it in the comments!

X.O.

IAS